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| i have bright pictures from a recent vacation...but I don't feel like looking at them. perhaps i'll share about SD and the dead sea scrolls at a less reflective and contemplative hour.
recently, i've struggled with questions i cannot seem to find the answer to. why am i the way i am? is this what life is supposed to be like? what am I supposed to be?
1. grad school.
nothing has been more enriching and devastating than grad school. I finished year 4 out of six. I felt like quitting since year 2. Of course, I learned a lot. I have degrees. great. But everyday, I struggle--with the scrutiny of superiors to form you in their own way, the vagabond life i have to live of not knowing where I'll be six months from now, or a year from now, and...of course, the fact that I am about to be 25+ and make no money. Although it is unrelated, I can't help to sometimes confuse my monetary input to the family to my level of industriousness and self-worth. It is what someone called the "Moses' Desert Experience--The Place where Humility is Born and Character is Honed." I wake up every day, and think to myself, "am i out of the desert yet? Dangit. another two years."
Sometimes I think mike is in the same place. The next three years will be filled with studying, tests, papers, etc. Sometimes, he wonders where the time goes.
In my lowest point this week, I thought about what would cheer me up. I thought, "hm...a million dollars in the mail." Yesterday i got a parcel. No sender. "OMG...a million dollars?" I open it up. It's a book. I wrote a chapter in this book about a year and a half ago, and it came today. This was the only sign i needed. It was meaningful--one day, there will be a blessing for all this work. One day far from today.
Who would have thought a book on infidelity would cheer me up?
2. after grad school-now what?
what do I want to do? what do I want to be? I like my day job or potential day job but can i do this for life? or even for 10 years? am i called to full-time ministry? If i work don't work at all, is that bad?
3. The body over mind effect.
It's supposed to be other way around. My mom always commented I have twiggy feet bones. It's looks kind of true through an X ray. Years ago, someone asked me what is the most beautiful part of my body, in my opinion. I answered, "My feet." I showed them my feet, and they were in awe. Now, mike calls me fiona because I have a foot the size of Shrek's head. Here's the break:
You can't really see it in a photo. the 3rd metatarsal has a fracture that is 2/3rds of the way through at the thick point of the bone.
I feel like a hypocrite to hate on birds now. Human feet kind of look like bird-feet. Oh, so gross. I hate birds. They're so lame!
4. Niko?
Okay, I can't bash Niko because too many people close to me swear by it. I went to bishop in the spring and thought it was hell on earth but ironically icy. At the climax of the trip where I was supposed to know the meaning of life, I was overly consumed with my stinging sun burn and frosbite. I missed the whole experience. So...i think the next few months will be my real life niko. I plan on going on missions as planned with my broken foot, then climbing the Mayan ruins. We'll see if this happens.
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| should you go PC or MAC?
I say go both.
After using a power mac for about 3 years, here's what I've noticed:
PROS
1. It's a tank!
Very sturdy. I dropped it a few times, no biggie. hee hee.
2. No viruses. My main motive for switching.
3. Very user friendly. easy to learn.
4. Contrary to the popular belief that files do not transfer to MAC, it does. WORD EXCEL POWERPOINT, you name it. it works in MAC.
5. The best part about MAC are the programs-garageband, imovie, idvd, iphoto. If you can get these on your PC (i'm not sure if you can), you're set. If not, go mac.
CONS
1. You have to re-learn how to type because the keys are slightly different than PC.
2. It takes a really long time to upload photos onto the internet.
3. You can't look at all websites---like banana republic.
I say if you got the luxury, try this. if you don't got the luxury, save up money and try this.
have one PC desktop since its cheaper, and one MAC book (any, ibook or powerbook). Then do all your picture uploading, management etc through the PC. Use the MAC for movie making, dvd making, etc. For word, excel, etc., use whatever suits you.
I realized this is totally not the best idea. It's just what I would prefer. My argument is weak, but this is convenient for me.
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| Two pictures that make me laugh...
Picture #1-
do ya get it?
Answer:
some may consider it blasphemy that we attempted to try to look like what they consider two incredibly good-looking people....o-well.
Next, Picture # 2---
why does this look so funny to me?
miss the bunch already.
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| I have cell phone trauma.
Last week, I wanted to meet some beloved friends...for old times sake..but my phone was malfunctioning. And once I got to our decided destination, I couldn't find them. Turns out booths can be really tall in some shops. So I used a pay phone to make 2 calls about 2 minutes each with my credit card.
Last night, we checked our credit card statement....and we were billed $28 for each call.
It gets better.
I went to the beach yesterday. I was trying to fly a kite. I was wearing a borrowed-but-never returned-cuz-i-don't-know-whos-it-is oversized sweatshirt. Mike says I need to run in order for the kite to take flight. I figure none of the jrhigh kids will see me run...so I run. 10 minutes later, I realized my cell phone fell out...in the sand. I call the phone...it's already turned off by some lucky and awful picked-up-pda-in-sand-stealer. I guess it serves me right for the sweater. (I later saw a gal at the beach with the same phone! So I asked a brother of mine to go ask her if we could check out her phone to see if it was mine. I don't know what's more shocking--the girl who gave us her phone to check out or the guy who asked. I am loved.)
Losing numbers don't bother me as much as losing my schedule. I will never know anyone's birthday anymore either. So just nudge me and please tell me your birthday again.
I don't think I can think of anything that feels worse than losing a cell phone.
How awful is this? Can your bad day top this? I hate cell phones forever! | | |
| Popped in an old cd this morning...
The first two notes of the piano in the song instantly brought me back to a moment in my memory--dancing in the evening, smelling the ocean air, warm xmas decor, with some of my closest friends...each couple dancing as a pair, yet everyone dancing as one, me and my new husband, rix&jan, scotto&e, john&ally...
then, the beautiful memory faded as I was reminded of how much we paid and wedding politics between in-laws.
overall, a wonderful way to start a morning...good memories are good. | | |
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